5 Things I’m Grateful For Today:
1) Eating a late lunch with the boys at Olive Garden without a meltdown.
2) Tiramisu!
3) Watching Sebastian walk around outside with his hands folded and his head bowed, praying for safety on the playground for himself and his little brother.
4) Being present the first time Xander climbed the rung ladder at the playground all by himself.
5) The boys going straight to bed and right to sleep tonight.
From my home to yours,
Andrea
I’ve been really down today.
It’s Memorial Day and I’ve just seen a lot of images on the tv and internet that have made me so sad.
I can usually handle Ben being where he is and doing what he’s doing.
But on a day like today, when we’re all focusing on remembering the fallen, it’s hard for me not to feel scared and sad.
Watching video of wives welcoming home flag-draped caskets or lying on their husbands’ graves makes me weep.
I can’t say that I know what they are feeling, but I can imagine.
And I don’t want to imagine.
I want to walk in faith.
But days like today, it’s so very hard.
U.S. Frees 42 Iraqi Captives in Raid
<begin rant>
I don’t watch “The View.” If the television is on at all during the day, it’s on PBS Kids so the boys can be edu-tained. However, I somehow found myself sucked into watching this feud thing between Rosie O’Donnell and Elizabeth Hasselbeck on YouTube. I watched several days’ worth of material and what struck me was the fact that Rosie O’Donnell’s opinion of the U.S. military is radically skewed. She said that 650,000+ Iraqi civilians are dead and since we invaded their country, who are the terrorists? Well, the last time I checked there was a civil war going on over there. Our military is not responsible for 650,000+ Iraqi civilian deaths! And where does she get that number anyway? I noticed that she never cites any sources when spewing her opinions. Then she came back later, after the news criticized her insinuations, and said that she supports the troops and she never said that the troops were terrorists. Well, then, who did she mean? Who are the terrorists, Rosie?
So, now she’s not coming back to the show. Whoop-de-doo!
I have to say though, that Rosie has had one consistently good point throughout all of her liberal nonsense and idiotic conspiracy theories. And that point is this: why is it that this ridiculous pseudo-journalism junk is all over the news?! There is a !@#$% WAR going on people!! Aren’t there more important things to report about than Rosie O’Donnell’s big mouth or Paris Hilton’s Lindsay Lohan’s DUI? I’m tired of celebrities and their stupidity being the top news stories of the day!!!
</end rant>
Dropped the boys off at mom’s tonight.
Grammy and Pop-pop are there visiting from Florida.
The boys were happy to see them.
Gas light came on in the car on the way home.
Had to pump my own gas.
“Princesses do not pump gas!”
Stopped at Blockbuster and rented some movies.
Picked up Micky D’s for dinner.
Checked the mail.
New coupon organizer arrived.
Watched a movie.
Played Bingo with the TV.
Filed coupons in the new organizer.
Watched another movie.
I miss my husband.
I miss Friday night sushi.
I miss kissing.
I miss more-than-kissing.
I miss being a brat.
I miss being spoiled.
I miss being the princess.
Where is that tiara?
Looks a little dusty.
Let me just wipe it off a little.
There, that’s better!
I miss my Daddy.
My sugar Daddy.
My baby Daddy.
My soldier Daddy.
I miss being his baby girl.
So, Ben’s been gone for 2 weeks today. We miss him lots, but we’ve gotten into the swing of things again.
Mom kept the boys Friday night, giving me my first night alone since Ben left. I was finally able to get my crying out and I feel much more peace now. I was also able to go to the grocery store for a full cart of groceries for the first time since Ben left. I was so happy to have walked out of the grocery store with a savings of $87! We don’t get savings like that when Ben does the shopping 
. He just goes off the list I give him. When I go, I scout out the sales and buy multiples if the sale is really good.
Speaking of scouting out sales. I signed up for The Grocery Game this week. I figure that for $5/mo, if it saves me money, it’s worth it. I’ll let you know how it works out for me.
I also heard about a wonderful new product designed for busy moms. It’s a scripture memory aid, developed by a homeschooling mom, and designed to be used in the bath or shower. It consists of waterproof cards mounted on suction cups, so you can read and meditate on scriptures while you’re bathing. It’s called Soaking in the Word. When my sets arrive, I’ll update you on how well I do with them!
I have to get going, but I’ll try to make it back to update again this week. God bless all of you!
From my home to yours,
My first week without Ben. It was hard to say goodbye, but I was pleasantly surprised at how well the boys and I fell into a new routine (or extension of our old routine). I’ve been able to keep up with Ben’s chores and mine without much effort. I’ve encouraged the boys to clean up daily before lunch, dinner, and bedtime which has kept the main areas of the house and their bedroom the cleanest they’ve been in months. I still have a lot of decluttering and organizing to do, but those are things that I can only take one day at a time, one box/drawer/shelf at a time.
Ben is safe and sound. He has a phone card so he can call me periodically. We’re waiting on payday so he can put more minutes on it. We’ve had a bit of a financial crisis because there was a problem with his extension and he didn’t get paid on the first, but we’re coming through it with God’s help and provision. I’m really looking forward to payday though.
One small example of God’s help: I felt a strange desire to go into my top dresser drawer last night and check Ben’s cell phone to see if it needed charging. I haven’t looked at it all week. When I did, I saw that he had a voicemail message. I listened to the message which was left on Monday and it was Blockbuster saying that we have two movies overdue and if they aren’t returned by close of business on Friday we will be charged the purchase price for them. I praise God that I was able to get that message on Thursday night and find the movies that I thought Ben had already returned. So tonight, the boys and I are going to Blockbuster to return the movies and rent a new one.
My mom is sick, so the boys aren’t going to her house tonight. When she called she felt bad about it even though I told her it was no big deal and that I just wanted her to feel better. I don’t ever want to make my mom feel bad and it hurts me to think that I’ve somehow made her feel obligated to keep the boys. She keeps them every single Friday and has done so pretty much since Sebastian was born. It’s our routine, but I thought she knew she could say no anytime and it wouldn’t be a problem. I don’t want to take advantage of my mom. I’m grateful for the help she’s given me in taking care of my family and I don’t ever mean to take it for granted. I know that she could decide anytime to stop taking the boys for their Friday visits, and I’m okay with that and Ben and I have always appreciated every opportunity her generosity and love for our kids has afforded us. She’s the best mom and the best grandmama in the whole world. To think that she’s at home sick and she feels bad for not being able to keep the boys is a huge testament to her love for us. But really, mom, it’s okay. We just want you to feel better!
Well, I have things to do, so I’m gonna get to them. Have a blessed weekend all!
From my home to yours,
Andrea
Ben deployed yesterday. He called me tonight and he has safely arrived on the other side. I’ve been doing okay. Last night, after the boys and I got home from dropping him off, I made them peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, celery, and bananas for dinner. I got them put to bed at 8pm and then I cleaned during commercials as I watched TV. For the first time in a long time, I was in bed by 11pm.
Today was rough emotionally, but logistically worked perfectly as planned. I was able to do all the day to day tasks that Ben usually does plus my own. As far as my emotions go, I haven’t really cried it all out yet. I been getting teary-eyed off and on all day, but I just haven’t had a big cry like I know is coming. I cried a little on the phone with Ben, but it was mostly just our normal evening chit-chat. I think it will probably hit me when I drop the boys off on Friday at mom’s and I’m all alone. I keep praying for strength and peace.
I hope you are all doing well. I’m sorry I haven’t been around to visit any blogs recently. I’ll try to do that one day this week.
From my home to yours,
Andrea
Today was one of them.
I’ve been having trouble waking up in the morning, because I stay up way too late at night. It’s a vicious cycle, perpetuated by the fact that I love the quiet after everyone else has gone to bed. It’s soothing, and I do my best thinking late at night. Last night, as I was doing some of this thinking, I prayed that God would help me to wake up happier in the mornings. His response was, “Go to bed!” Since I felt so strongly that it was from God, I asked Him what time I should wake up in the morning. His answer: 5:30am. 
You have to understand… I’m NOT a morning person. I’m not even a midday person! However, I took this as evidence that this message surely was from God. So I set my alarm and went to bed. When I woke up this morning (at 5:30am), Ben was standing at the front door preparing to leave. I think this is the reason I was told that time; I’m sure that I would have rolled over and gone back to sleep otherwise. So, I got up and I got started on my day.
After some quiet time with God and a shower, I was ready to greet the day and was actually smiling when I saw my little Xander for the first time this morning. I was happy-mom again! Praise God! My boys and I cleaned the house and prepared for Xander’s therapy session. When it was over, Ben came home and then we all went out to lunch. I dropped Ben off at work and then took the boys home. Around 2:00pm we left to take Xander to the neurologist for a follow-up.
Xander’s metabolic testing came back normal! Praise the Lord and thanks to all of you for your prayers! The neurologist said to keep up the therapies, but that he didn’t need to see us again unless Xander has a problem (stops progressing or regresses). He didn’t indicate that he anticipated any problems at all, which was good.
Speaking of Xander’s progress, it’s AMAZING! He’s now using 2-3 word combinations and requesting like crazy. He’s also learned to say, “STOP!,” when he doesn’t like something. He’s using little words and phrases that he’s heard us use, like “What?” when we call his name (he gets that one from Sebastian… we’re still working on it), and “Sorry” when he falls down or bumps into someone. He also says “I love you,” though it’s usually after I’ve said it. He asks for hugs and tickles. I am so so so proud of him!
I’m also way proud of Sebastian! Today at the restaurant, the waitress asked him how old he was. He told her he was five. She asked him if he was going to school. He said, “Yes!” She asked him what grade he was in. He said, “Pre-K.” She asked him what he was learning in school. He said, “Alphabet Island, Math, Handwriting, and reading books.” She asked if he knew the alphabet. He sang it for her. He said he was learning to write big letters (read uppercase). She asked him how he did that and he pretended to draw a capital ‘C’ in the air.
So then, I asked him, “Who’s your teacher?” He pointed to me and grinned! It made me feel so happy! She looked at me funny and I said, “We homeschool.” She said, “Ohhhhh…” then said she had a relative who is a teacher. I know she was just trying to find something to say so I smiled and nodded. Then she went to serve another table.
I’m sure her relative is a wonderful, caring teacher… but there is no way that care could compare to the love I have for my sons. I have a vested interest in seeing them succeed. And today, I was so grateful that I am the one who gets to teach them, so I can be there for moments like the one I just described. Praise God for His many blessings!
Wow! Look at the time… I’d love to write more, but I have to go to bed. I’ll try to post tomorrow! Have a great weekend and God bless you all.
From my home to yours,
Andrea
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