May 3, 2008
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Week in Review
This week has been quite difficult. I’ve had to come to terms with some issues in my life. I’ve been having problems with anxiety for… well… for as long as I can remember. I’m afraid of people, public places, making mistakes, being judged, etc. Normally I’ve been able to cope with these irrational fears by finding ways to avoid the things that make me afraid. Unfortunately, I’ve reached a point where it is so bad that I rarely leave my house and am having a very difficult time functioning in my day to day tasks. Things that should only take minutes take me much much longer because I have such a difficult time making decisions for fear that I’ll do the wrong thing, do it in the wrong order, or just plain do it wrong. Despite recognizing the problem and working diligently for about a month now to try to get it under control, the fears are still there. No matter how much I tell myself that the thoughts aren’t real, the pit-of-the-stomach-sickening-heart-racing-let-me-out-of-here feelings are still there.
Sunday, I broke down and admitted to my mom that I was having a problem and needed help. She agreed to keep my boys so I could see a doctor. I’ve made an appointment for May 16. I also contacted a professional organizer who will be coming in May 5 and 6 to help me sort through the piles and piles of stuff that I’ve accumulated in my tiny apartment. Mom is taking off work those two days so that I can spend all day with the pro and hopefully make a huge dent in this mess!
I took the boys to the pediatrician Wednesday. It was very difficult to do. Going on post triggers my anxiety and so I avoid it at all costs. However, the kids hadn’t been seen in about 2 years, so they really needed to go. The doctor said they were both healthy and they had their vaccines updated.
I’ve been working yesterday and today on cleaning up what I can around here. I would like to get things somewhat under control before Monday, so that when the organizer is here we can focus on long-term solutions instead of just working on the immediate problem. I really need help finding ways to do what needs to be done in a way that causes me the least anxiety.
When I’m not cleaning, I’m working on plans for next school year. I’ve made so many changes it’s not even funny! I’m still planning to use a curriculum blend that includes Sonlight, Veritas Press, Old Fashioned Education , Tapestry of Grace, and others. I decided that no single curriculum seemed to have exactly what I want, so I’m designing my own, using the elements that I like from each program. Sometime I’ll share exactly how this is working out for me. Thank goodness for Homeschool Tracker Plus!
From my home to yours,
Andrea_____________________________________________________________________________
History PlanYear 1: Old Testament & Ancient Egypt
Year 2: New Testament, Greece & Rome
Year 3: Middle Ages, Renaissance & Reformation
Year 4: Explorers to 1815
Year 5: 1815 to Present
Year 6: Ancient & Classical Civilization
Year 7: Middle Ages, Renaissance & Reformation
Year 8: Reformation through Present
Year 9: Xander-Ancient & Classical Civilization
Sebastian-American History
Year 10: Xander-Middle Ages, Renaissance & Reformation
Sebastain-History of God’s Kingdom
Year 11: Xander-Reformation through Present
Sebastian-20th Century World History
Year 12: Xander-American History
Sebastian-Civics & American Government
Year 13: History of God’s Kingdom
Year 14: 20th Century World History
Year 15: Civics & American Government
Comments (2)
Wow, I think it is so insightful of your self to see this. I can understand. Sometimes I get anxiety. I found found sometimes the most random of things help me cope. Like dealing with housework…I found a little wood sign at a flea market once…it was simple and had a little black wire with swirlies on it. It said ‘Martha Stewart doesn’t live here”… I hung it on my front door. It helped me tremendously….I felt I could just be comfortable with doing the best I could do and not worrying about the rest. Look for the little things in you life that help….
xo, QE
A professional organizer sounds like a great place to start. I can relate a bit to the irrational anxieties… sometimes it’s so hard to do things, even seemingly simple things. Praying that this is the beginning of a real solution for you~ Hope Monday & Tuesday go GREAT, as well as the dr. appointment! So brave of you to share this on here – that’s a huge step, I think. I’m praying that you’ll be encouraged to know other people struggle, too. {{{hugs}}}