Ben came home on R&R leave.  He arrived the day after Christmas and stayed until January 14th.  It was an absolute blessing to have him home with us, and we made the most of every minute.  Over that time we celebrated both Sebastian’s 6th birthday and our 5th wedding anniversary!  We took a trip to North Carolina and stayed in beautiful hotel for 2 nights the weekend of our anniversary and it was magnificent!  No children, no school, no work, and no chores!  Pure luxury!

Since Ben has gone back to Iraq, I’ve felt a renewed strength and determination.  I’m still struggling with feeling overwhelmed and wanting to escape through denial and procrastination, but I’m at least keeping my head above water.  That’s much better than the sinking..sinking..sinking I was doing before Ben came home.  I’ve been able to maintain the boys’ homeschooling, ignoring the fact that we are weeks behind schedule, and just starting where we are and moving forward.  

Motto #1:  Just do the next thing. 

I’ve also been able to keep the mess from getting any worse than it already was, and I’m slowly..slowly..slowly chipping away at the clutter and disorder.  My New Year’s resolution was to stop saying “I should” and replace it with “I will.”  So, whenever I see something that needs to be done that I would normally procrastinate until I had “more time,” “more energy,” or ”less to do,” I stop what I’m doing and do it.  A stitch in time saves 9?  A minute now saves hours later, because they compound quickly!

Motto #2:  No more ‘I shoulds’ only ‘I wills.’

Motto #3:  Do it now!  A minute now will save an hour later.

So there you have it… another attempt at transparency.  Showing that I am not perfect.  I struggle daily.  And so often I choose to struggle alone, rather than face the shame of admitting that I’m a mess.

From my home to yours,

Andrea