Thinking about Autism

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July 21, 2007

Thinking about Autism

My son, Xander, is three years old. He loves wheels and ceiling fans. He also loves cars and airplanes. He likes to jump and play. He enjoys water and loves taking baths. He knows the alphabet and can identify all the letters and the sounds they make. He counts to 20 and can identify numbers. He is learning to talk, though he still struggles to communicate his ideas. Often he babbles incoherently, though it is obvious to us that he is attempting to communicate and that he knows what he is saying, even if we do not. He runs and enjoys racing his brother, though he doesn’t understand the concept of “winning.” He recently began asserting himself with words like, “No!,” “Stop!,” and “Mine!”

Xander has autism.

So what?

Xander is the happiest child I know. He isn’t suffering. He isn’t afflicted. There is no “normal” child locked inside of him. He is normal. Normal for him. He didn’t contract autism. He didn’t “get” autism from a vaccine. Autism isn’t something he has, so much as it is the way he is. And he has always been this way. He is the way Our Father in Heaven created him to be. No one can convince me otherwise.

Yes, he has challenges. Yes, he has developmental delays compared to neurotypical children. Yes, he needs help to overcome these challenges so he can function in a neurotypical world. But, he’s a perfectly happy, healthy little boy. He doesn’t have a disease. He doesn’t need to be “cured.” He’s just different. Different is good.

So when I hear people say that there is an autism “epidemic” or that autism needs to be “cured” I cringe. Xander’s autism is part of who he is. I can help him cope with it, and I can help him succeed in a world that isn’t accepting of people who are different. But to take the autism away would mean taking away part of who Xander is. How he thinks. How he feels. How he interacts with the world around him. To wish away his autism would be to wish for a different child. I don’t want a different child. I want this child. This beautiful, perfect, little child that God has chosen to give especially to us. God has trusted us to raise him and love him and accept him just as he is.

And I do.